Timestamps

00:00:00: Introduction

00:01:49: Idea for action 1: get ahead of yourself

00:03:38: Idea for action 2: know your values

00:05:44: Useful resources

00:06:45: Final thoughts

Interview Transcription

Helen Tupper: We are back with another episode of the Squiggly Careers Skills Sprint.  We're on number 17 and today we're going to be talking a bit about the skill of courage.

Sarah Ellis: And courage obviously can feel scary, because this is where we are going outside of what feels comfortable.  This is where we are being brave.  So, why bother?  Why should we care about this?

Helen Tupper: Just don't do it.  Move on to the next skill!

Sarah Ellis: Well, we do care, I think partly because with the change in uncertainty that is part of our careers, there are just moments where we do need courage because things are hard.  So, sometimes that's because it's happening to us.  But I also think there are moments where we might want to be intentional about being brave because we feel like we've got the capacity.  We feel like, "Well, actually, I do want to stretch myself".  And I think this is often the moments where you realise you've got more potential than maybe you even gave yourself credit for.  So, there are lots of upsides, but I know this is one that can feel hard.  And actually, when we talk about this in workshops, people will often say, "Oh, I'd love to spend a bit more time in my courage zone", but they find it hard to figure out, "What does that look like?  And, how do I make that happen?"

Helen Tupper: I think as well, when we're talking about courage as a skill, I don't think this is about just being blindly brave, like the "screw it, just do it" thing, which you would never do.

Sarah Ellis: No!

Helen Tupper: I think courage as a skill is considered.  It's considered about what situations you're going to put yourself in that feel challenging and why you're doing it.  It's not just, "I'm just going to give it a go and see what happens".  That's something else.  I don't know what that is, but that's something else.  But I think courage as a skill is a little bit more considered, which hopefully you'll get a sense of when we talk about our ideas for action.

Sarah Ellis: Yeah, I guess you get those really unhelpful quotes, don't you, like, "Feel the fear and do it anyway".  And you're like, "Well, absolutely not"!

Helen Tupper: "How is that actually helping me?"

Sarah Ellis: Yeah.

Helen Tupper: So, my idea for action here, it's a weird one, I feel like it sounds really arrogant, but it's what I do, which is to get ahead of yourself.  So, if I want to be courageous, if I want to go or grow beyond where I am today, I find it useful to get ahead of myself, which to me means spending time with people who are already doing what I won't want to do, or are in positions that I admire but I'm not there yet.  And so I have proactively joined communities, for example, of people who are ahead of where I am. 

And it doesn't make me feel bad, it just makes me see that I can be better.  By being courageous, I'm literally in these conversations where people will be talking about things they're achieving or where their businesses are growing or decisions they're making, and I'm like, "Oh, wow, that's so much bigger or so different to how I would do that".  And it helps me see the art of the possible, it helps me build a bridge to where I want to be, and that, for me, putting myself with those people in those places, like getting ahead of where I am today, really helps me to create, you know, like a context for my courage.

Sarah Ellis: I suppose what you're describing is, it's bringing to life bravery and courage, because they are telling their story and they're sharing it with you.  And you're thinking, "Oh, they've been really brave by..."  So, you start to get specific situations and examples, which will never be identical to you, but I think it just gives you a bit more of a feel for what it could be, and it probably maybe raises your aspirations.  I don't know, it sounds like that's the experience that you've had.

Helen Tupper: It's like the difference in, "Wouldn't it be amazing if…" and, "How does it actually happen?"  I feel like being in that environment connects the desire to do it with actually like, well, it's been done, I can do that too.

Sarah Ellis: Yeah.  And I think for me, I was reflecting on moments of bravery within my Squiggly Career, things that have felt hard and I've been nervous about and scared of, and what helped me to take the plunge.  Because I do think this can be moments where you do feel like you're diving in a deep end and you're like, "Am I going to sink or swim?"  And I don't like that binary thinking.  It really doesn't appeal to me as somebody who likes to see all the shades of grey. 

So, I'm like, "Okay, well I want to know that I'm going to at least float rather than sink".  I'm like, "At least float, and then we'll go from there".  And what has helped me to do that is knowing my values, so understanding what motivates and drives me, what makes me, me, and using that as a filter for being brave. So, probably my bravest career decision ever was leaving being employed by a company to run Amazing If. 

And I remember thinking, "Wow, this feels massive.  I never imagined doing this.  It feels a lot less secure than working in a big company".  Helen's like, "Yes, I remember it well!"  And I really remember standing in my garden, thinking about it and going, "Right, okay, I know my values are achievement, ideas, learning and variety.  How confident do I feel that those values are going to show up if I make this leap into Amazing If?" 

And actually, I'd done enough testing and learning that I felt really confident.  So, then it was more, "This might fail, it could go really badly wrong, but do you know what?  That's okay, because I know that those values will have been present and it feels worth the risk. So, I think perhaps what I am good at in those moments is risk mitigation.  I think that's the floating.  I was like, "Well, I will float, I know I will enjoy some of it, I know I'll enjoy working with Helen, I think I'll learn a lot.  And hey, do you know what?  If I do start to sink, I reckon I've got some backup options".  So, I think it is the most pragmatic way of thinking about courage and bravery, and a lot less inspiring than what you've just described.  But it does mean I've got the old armbands on when I jump in a deep end.

Helen Tupper: Yeah, I'm always going to throw a rubber ring your way.  I'm not sure you really need it, but I'm always there, I'm always there with a rubber ring.  And so in this one, we've actually got two recommended bits of extra information for you here, so an expert and also a tool for you.  So, Sarah, do you want to do the expert?

Sarah Ellis: Yeah, so Brené Brown, perhaps slightly predictably, but we have got a quote from her from Dare to Lead, which I think particularly on this area is useful, where she says, "When we have the courage to walk into our story and own it, we get to write the ending".  And though I'm not always a fan of a cliché career quote, I do reflect on that and think that has been really true for me with those brave moments.

Helen Tupper: Yeah, I think when we're talking about having a Squiggly Career as unique as you are, courageous career decisions, I think, are part of writing your own story.  Very practically, we have got a values toolkit.  So, if you want to use your values to help you float, a bit like Sarah said, we've got a toolkit which will help you work out, "Well, what are my values?  I'm going to use that, I need to know what my values are".  It's a kind of step-by-step process, it's a logical thing, you can do it on your own, you could do it in a team, and we'll make sure that you've got the link to that tool in our show notes today.

Sarah Ellis: So, that's the end of this skill, and in tomorrow's skill sprint we're going to be talking about managing your emotions.