How to have courageous conversations

Do you ever struggle to speak up or feel frustrated in your ability to share your views and opinions at work? If so, don’t worry, in this week’s Squiggly Career podcast Helen and Sarah share their top 5 tips for preparing for and engaging in a courageous conversation. Listen to their stories and insights to increase your confidence and inspire action.

We like Nancy Schrieber’s description of courageous conversations as “having high stakes, being emotionally charged about issues that matter, and involving the perspectives of more than one person.”

Our top 5 tips to feel confident about courageous conversations are:

1. Don’t underestimate the challenge – Research on “realistic optimism” shows that when people set out to do difficult, personally meaningful things, they’re more likely to follow through if they expect that the task will be challenging.
2. Scenario plan with ‘if-then’ thinking – If-then planners are about 300% more likely than others to reach their goals. Even though you won’t be able to predict the specifics of every situation, creating a plan for how to speak up can significantly increase the likelihood that you do so when the moment presents itself. 
3. Use COIN to structure the conversation – this is good if you’re feeling nervous or think you might go off track. COIN stands for: Context, Observations, Impact, Next steps 
4. Test the conversation with others – ask for feedback on your facts, whether the emotion you show if working for you, are you playing into any victim or villain stereotypes?
5. Know that if you don’t get the outcome you were hoping for it doesn’t mean you’ve failed

A few resources for further reading:

https://hbr.org/2019/03/how-to-speak-up-when-it-matters 

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/managing-conflict-at-work-the-4-elements-of-courageous-conversations/ 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2012/11/13/courageous-conversation/#d1eb4c266510