How to cope with overwhelm at work

Helen Tupper: Hi, I'm Helen Tupper.

Sarah Ellis: I'm Sarah Ellis.

Helen Tupper: You're listening to the Squiggly Careers podcast where each week Sarah and I come together to talk about a different topic to do with work and discuss practical ideas for action to help you find your way through your increasingly, and our increasingly Squiggly world of work.

Sarah Ellis: Today, we're going to be talking about overwhelm and how to overcome overwhelm at work.  So you can probably tell how we're both feeling right now.

Helen Tupper: I was about to say, "The irony of recording this topic!"  When you suggested it, I was like, "Yes, this is a good topic to cover; let's get into this, please".

Sarah Ellis: Well, let's face it, I think we originally started the podcast really for self-help, to help each other.

Helen Tupper: Yeah, it is all still self-help, isn't it?

Sarah Ellis: Yeah.  I was preparing for this particular topic and just thinking, "We are literally doing this for selfish reasons right now because we really need to know this stuff!"  I think lots of people are feeling this way; we've noticed it in our workshops over the last few weeks.  So we were like, "Actually, do you know what, we've never really done a deep dive into overwhelm".

So what we're going to do today is talk a bit about what it is and how it gets in our way, though I suspect most of us know that, and we don't need to spend too long on it.  What we've come up with is we thought we would go really practical today. 

So we've come up with ten ideas for action on what to do in those moments where you do get overwhelmed at work, because I think, yes, we can work on how to prevent it, but it's also probably always going to happen some of the time; we can probably predict that, at some points, we are just going to feel a bit overwhelmed.  I think it's almost what you do in those moments, and the tools and the tactics that you can learn, that can help you find your way through that feeling of overwhelm to the other side as quickly and as positively as possible.

So, I'm sure there's lots more psychology that we could chat through, but we've gone really, really practical for everybody; again, I suspect this is because we were like, "What can we do right now?"  So I was looking at overwhelm and what it means when our brains get overwhelmed; I think there's actually one really important point that I hadn't considered before which is, when we are overwhelmed it's almost the complexity of everything that's happening surpasses the complexity of our mind.

So we all recognise this sense of, "It all feels too much", but what we shouldn't mistake this for is a reflection of our capability or our competence.  So I think often our reaction to overwhelm is almost to blame ourselves or for our inner critic to come to life, and it's us going, "This is my fault; I can't cope", and almost like beating ourselves up, "What should I have done differently to stop this overwhelm from happening?"  Actually, it is just when everything gets too complicated and lots of that stuff is actually out of our control, which is almost why we've spent a bit less time today on the preventing it, because it's a natural reality in Squiggly Careers in modern life.

So before we get into the ideas for action, there are two things that you can do, which is spot your triggers and understand the impact for you, because we all have different triggers for overwhelm, particularly perhaps when we don't have everything that's happening quite right now in January 2021, and then know what does that mean for you? 

So rather than just thinking about this generally, work out what does it look like for you; perhaps reflect on when you felt this before and are there any themes or trends that you can spot that then can be quite helpful?  It doesn't mean you could stop it completely, but it might just be useful in terms of using some of these tactics.

So, some of the triggers; I will just give you some of the examples that I saw come up a lot in lots of the reading I was doing and then perhaps, Helen, you and I will share the ones that are our big triggers.  Managers can be a really big trigger of overwhelm, so another bit of work comes your way and you feel like you can't say no; expectations of yourself or from other people; letting people down, which I guess those two things are linked; maybe not getting the support that you need from other people, that whole thing of it feeling too much; maybe you've competing priorities; lots going on personally, professionally, I can't believe anyone doesn't feel that one a little bit at the moment.

So, Helen, when you get that real sense of, "This all feels like too much", what do you think triggers it for you?

Helen Tupper: For me, it's when I'm being chased for things.  Let's say if you're chasing me for something or, Sarah, weirdly another Sarah in our team, might be chasing me for something, it's all meant with good intent, or someone who we're working with is saying, "Oh, Helen, where's that bit of information, or that resource, or that video, or whatever it is?" suddenly it's like a signal to me; I think it's a signal that I've not got it under control.

I think, for me, if people are chasing me, something's gone wrong because that's not a very Helen thing.  I'm normally the chaser.  Chasing me, I'm like, "Oh".

Sarah Ellis: You want to be the chaser not the chasee!

Helen Tupper: Well, I don't really want to be but I think I probably normally am.  But, yeah, it makes me just think I've let something slip or I'm not in control of this or there's too many things moving at once; it's the thing that makes me want to be like, "Aargh!  I've got to find a way to get back on track!"

Sarah Ellis: I was thinking about this a lot.  I've worked out that one of my triggers is, when I do get really overwhelmed, I go into the future; I quite enjoy spending time thinking about the future anyway so that's a nice place for me to spend time.  Then I start to imagine what I'm going to do differently; I think about some quite radically different things.

So honestly, this week at some points, I was thinking, "Maybe what I'll do is I'll work a four-day week in the summer."  Honestly, I had this thought for about an hour.  I was like, "Oh, that could be quite good."

Helen Tupper: You're welcome to do that.

Sarah Ellis: I know but I don’t want that.  I have worked a four-day week before and, actually, I really enjoyed it, but you know when you're like, "But that's not what I want to do."  It's my reaction; it's my response to feeling overwhelmed.  I start to think, "Oh, this could be different, or maybe I should try that", and because I think I like ideas, I come up with ideas that are in the future.  Then I think, once you start to spot your triggers, and I'm sure all of them at some point impact us, but some impact us more than others, then know what is your response; how does it start to show up for you?

Actually, there's quite a lot of evidence around when we're overwhelmed you're really forgetful, probably I guess because you've got so much going on in your head you can't keep everything in your mind so you just forget things.  Maybe that's when you do like, you know when you lock yourself out, or you lose your phone, it's almost like in your moments you're already overwhelmed anyway and then you're like, "Oh, great, now I've just lost my phone!" 

Helen Tupper: It's so funny because, just before this podcast --

Sarah Ellis: I lose cards; I lose debit cards; that's what I do!

Helen Tupper: Just before we started recording today, it's really funny because I was feeling a bit like this; we're recording on Friday, at the end of Friday, we've got quite a few things on at the moment with books and various things that we're doing.  Sarah, basically, is planning the completion of the book that we have to get over to Penguin in two weeks' time; Sarah's managing the completion of it and so is very clear about what needs to be done when and has obviously come to the end of this week with a lot of clarity and is now thinking about what needs to be done when next week, but my brain can't really cope!

To your point about forgetting, when you were going through that, you're like, "Okay, that needs to be done Wednesday."  I was like, "Okay, I've got to put it in my diary", because I don't think I can retain it.  I think I'm on Friday, a lot's gone on and I'm sort of tipping into overwhelm a little bit because I'm going into the weekend feeling like I've not done everything I need to do.  I was thinking when you were saying that, I was like, "I don't think I can retain!"  So that forgetfulness thing, I can see how it's real.

Sarah Ellis: Yeah.  So forgetful, confusion, you don't have the clarity that perhaps you have the rest of the time; perhaps you're chatting to someone in your team and you're thinking, "Why am I not getting this?"  It's almost like your brain's a bit full up; that's the way I think of it.

When I was reading about how we typically respond to overwhelm, pretty much what everyone says is, "Oh, I just work harder and longer".  I was just thinking, "Yeah".  So there was quite a lot of case studies of, well the answer is basically to get up at 4.30am or 5.00am and just be like, "Okay, well that's how I will get through those things".

Helen Tupper: What, to blitz it?

Sarah Ellis: Yeah, blitz it basically; or, if you're me, because I hate mornings, you just work really late, or you work weekends.  You just basically work more and more and more.  So, you're already overwhelmed and then you're like, "Yeah, just going to keep going".  I do get it.

Helen Tupper: Occasionally, you can clear the decks and then start afresh.  However, I think that if that is your continual coping strategy, it's not really going to end well, is it?  If your continual coping strategy for overwhelm, when you're probably only going to get more information and more things to do, is to work harder and longer, at some point that's going to backfire.

Sarah Ellis: Yeah, and these things are always nuanced, aren't they?  I was actually reading a few examples of people saying sometimes it can be really helpful to carve out some time where you might not normally work, and it's not about making it a habit, but where you do create enough sense of, you've done the things you need to do so that you can have the space and the sense of clarity that you need.

So, if it was me, I wouldn't normally get up early to do work ever, but I can imagine myself sometimes doing that; actually, I have done it in the past where I've just thought, "I think that would just actually really help me right now, but I'm not going to make a habit of it"; or like, "I am going to do three hours' worth of a bit of work at a weekend", which again is not something I would normally do, but you might think, "Okay, in this moment that feels okay".  I think that's okay too; I don't think we should feel too bad about that.  I think we're both saying that because we both do it!

Helen Tupper: Yeah, we do do that!

Sarah Ellis: So what I think was missing, when I was reading lots of the articles about overwhelm, which are the points that we've talked about so far; really the summary is everyone just goes, "Oh, pinpoint the primary source of the overwhelm, then just do something about it".  I was like, "Okay, but what do you want me to do about it; what are the things?"  So this is where we were like, "Right…" 

We have tried to come up with ten ideas for action of what you could do in those moments of feeling overwhelmed; short, specific ideas to try out.  Maybe we'll write this up as well so that you've got them somewhere that you can download.

Helen Tupper: Yeah, we'll put them on www.amazingif.com, and I'll probably also get a post on Instagram @amazingif that you can just swipe through so that you can see all of these.

Sarah Ellis: I'm sure you know some of these already; you might like some more than others.  If you've got other ones, things that have worked really well for you as well, let us know on Instagram where we're just @amazingif, and we can add those to the list.  This is what we could come up with.

Helen Tupper: Our ten top tips for combatting overwhelm.

Sarah Ellis: Ten top tips in probably about ten minutes.  So, here we go.  Okay, number one, difference between good enough and great.  I think in moments of overwhelm, especially if you are someone who is a perfectionist, might like to spend time over things, really think things through.  I don't think I'm a perfectionist, but I'm quite considered in what I like to do; it's sometimes just knowing, "I've got to get some of this stuff done, and good enough is absolutely fine for now". 

I have actually done this this week; there are some times where I've sent emails where I've thought usually I would craft that a bit further, or I'd think about that a bit more.  I bet you I have sent emails this week with some typos in, which I really, really don't like the idea of that, but because I have done some things quickly and recognised that I've needed to, I've also gone, "I think people will forgive me for that, and I think it's okay, and I'm still doing all the right things".

So one of the things that can be quite useful is, on a Monday, if you're feeling really overwhelmed maybe at the start of your week, just be really clear about what are the things that actually have to be great this week?  That's usually a very short list.  If everything else is good enough, that's probably fine and your good enough is probably still pretty good. 

We all give ourselves a pretty hard time and put ourselves on a pedestal, so I always think don't try and do a big long list; we don't need to spend more time doing more work when we're feeling overwhelmed.  I think if you just go, "What needs to be great?" I find that really, really helpful because actually, in a week, there's usually only one thing I'm doing, maybe two things I'm doing that have to actually be great.

Helen Tupper: So tip number two, is it significant enough to sink the ship?  So, is the work that you are looking at, and if you're feeling overwhelmed there might be more than one thing that you're trying to do at one time, which of those things is significant enough to sink the ship?  What we mean by that is, how much does it really, really matter?

So if you're working on something that is really important to your job, you might even think it's career critical, then it's likely that it might be overwhelming, but that might be one of the things where you're like, "Okay, I know it's overwhelming; I've just got to get through it; I'm going to put all of my energy behind it".  You know why you're doing it; it's because it's such a significant piece of work. 

There might be some other things that you look at and you say, "Well, if I'm doing some kind of significance scale here, this isn't at the top; I can see what's at the top and it's not this".  That might be something that you can pause or you could reprioritise. 

But, if you think about that scale of significance, like if I thought about, "Well, what are five things that I'm working on now?" there might be some things for clients; some things on social media; some content I'm creating; the book that we're writing; the most significant thing for me right now is the book that we're writing and that's where all of my effort and energy should go.  Maybe a way that I can control my overwhelm is by slowing some of the other things down, or pausing, or delegating, or finding something else to do, but really focusing on the thing that I think is the most significant, the most important.

So just have a look at your work and almost think about a significance scale; what's at the top; what's maybe a bit more below?  Make sure that you're focusing your energy and efforts in the thing that's most important and not trying to do everything at the same pace at the same time.

Sarah Ellis: Action number three is about saying "no".  So, saying no is the classic response to what to do when you're feeling overwhelmed, you just need to say no loads more.  Perhaps it's not just about saying no, it might be about thinking when do you sometimes want to say "not now"; it doesn't mean "not ever", just "not now", and actually finding ways to say no in a way that works for you.

So let me give you some examples here because this is something I think I've got a lot better at.  Sometimes people will ask me for things, or be interested in having a chat, and actually I'm really interested in having a chat too, it's just that I can't do it right now.  So, I think it's absolutely okay to say to somebody, "Really sorry that just over the next of couple of weeks, I'm really busy, this is what I'm doing, but would March still work as a way to spend some time together?"  Most of the time, people are like, "Yeah, that's absolutely fine".  It’s not a time critical activity. 

I think sometimes you make something time critical that isn't.  I would be like, "Oh, yeah, shall we catch up on Monday?" and it's like, "Or could we catch up in a month?" and it would still be fine.  So I think practise the art of "not now".

Then I think the other thing on saying no, I am so much more confident saying no if I can help in another way.  So, if I say no either what I try to do is point people towards somebody else, and if I can make that introduction I will, or say, "Oh, I'm really sorry, I can't help with that at the moment, but this is an article you could go and have a look at; or have you thought about reading this; or have you thought about listening to this?"  I think that works for me because I'm a naturally curious person and I'm good at signposting resources for people in what we do; that works in our world I guess.

I think there's been a few things where -- I felt quite bad in January where someone's asked me for help and I thought, "I actually can't do that and they clearly do need it now".  Just by going, "Okay, well I can't give you what you originally wanted, but this might still be helpful but in a different way"; again, it helps me to say no.

So I think it's probably why -- if you get brilliant at just saying no and that feels okay then great, but the "Not now" or, "No, but here's some help in a different way", could be useful.

Helen Tupper:  So tip number four really focuses on the to-do list; I currently have one of these in my diary that is to the right of me right now, and I'm thinking, "There's quite a lot on that to-do list!"  It is quite daunting.  What can be helpful when you're feeling overwhelmed is instead of thinking about a to-do list, you're still going to have to think about it, but get yourself a done list.  Find a way of recognising all the progress that you're making.

So, I have a retro Filofax thing that I love; I have to-do list paper.  Actually, what I could do is create myself a done list that can look back on.  So rather than ending my week now and feeling a bit overwhelmed about the work I've got to do, I could actually look at my done list and think, "Yeah, but look at everything you've done, Helen; stop beating yourself up about the 5 things that are still there and think about the 50 things that you've done this week". 

Whether you do it in a diary or a bullet journal, or you put Post-It notes on a wall, it's a way that you can visibly see the progress that you're making.  It can just give you a sense of achievement when sometimes overwhelm can leave you losing a bit of perspective.

Sarah Ellis: Number five I've stolen from my mental health first aid training, so you might have heard me talk about this before; this is the idea of your stress bucket.  So I think, when everything feels too much, some of those things in your control, some of those things out of your control, the idea here is that it almost feels like your bucket has overflowed.  Everything's got on top of you, there's too much stuff happening all at once, your bucket overflows.

Then, if you imagine a tap on the side of that bucket, know what it takes to release that tap, to turn that tap on that lowers that water level and reduces your stress.  This is different for everyone, but the best thing I think I've done this week is, even when I have been incredibly busy, felt really overwhelmed, I've still gone for a walk.  It actually feels really counterintuitive. 

I was quite tempted one day this week to say to Helen, "Oh, but I am still working".  It's a really weird feeling when you know you've got a lot on.  I imagine this is harder for everybody else; if you're in an organisation, it must be harder than it is for you and me.  If I still feel like that -- there was one this week where I think I'd said to you, "Oh, I'm just nipping out for a walk", and then I felt a bit bad.  I was like, "Oh, Helen probably thinks, 'Why am I not working on the book?'"  It is incredible how hard you have to work to do those things, but those things are the things that release your stress and lower that water level.

So if you feel like your stress bucket is starting to overflow, know what it looks like for you; I do think it feels counterintuitive, but that ten minutes of mindfulness, that walk with your dog, going to get a coffee, doing something different, anything that you just know you always feel better after doing it.  I think it sounds simple but it's actually loads harder than it sounds.

Helen Tupper: Actually, in case it helps you Sarah, I would never think that of you going on a walk, and also it just makes me happy that you've found something that works for you, but it also just makes me think, "What's my thing?" as in, "Oh, that's a really good thing that Sarah's doing".  So actually, every time you do say that to me, it just makes me more conscious of, "Have I really prioritised that for myself?"  It's actually helpful for me when you share those things, if it stops you worrying in any way about some negative thought that I'm having about it.

Sarah Ellis: Some couples therapy for us right there!

Helen Tupper: There you go!  So tip number six is about just beware of trying to do it all yourself.  So, if you have got lots on, you know that point that Sarah mentioned right at the beginning which is that sometimes that default response is just work harder, faster, longer, until you burn out; it's not a great conclusion to that one.  Instead, just have a think about who can help you and you what you can delegate. 

Sometimes I think "delegate" is a tricky word because people think, "Oh, I've got nobody that works for me so who can I delegate this to?"  So if delegate, as a concept, doesn't feel that comfortable to you, just think about who could help you.  You're not necessarily asking them to do your job for you forever, you're just asking for some help right now; that help might be helping you to write a report because you know that they're really good at it and maybe they can do it quicker than you. 

I don't know what the answer is, but look around you at who might have some skills, some time and ability to help you, and ask them for that help.  Just be confident enough to say, "I've got loads on at the moment, I'm struggling a bit to get everything done, I'd really appreciate your help with this thing; would it be possible?"  Just be specific, be genuine, be brave, and often people will give that help that you need and it might just help you get over this work hump that you might be experiencing at the moment.

Sarah Ellis: There's a good quote actually from -- so John Maxwell, who's done a lot of work on leadership, he says, "If something can be done 80% as well by someone else, delegate".  And I think it doesn't have to be "delegate" in a traditional sense, it can just be like don't feel like you're the only one who can do that thing.  I sometimes do think we think, "Oh, yeah, but I know this really well, and it's going to take someone else…" and then you start to realise.  You're like, "Oh, actually everyone else can do what I do and it's fine".

Number seven, I have borrowed some brilliance from Adam Morgan, who wrote a brilliant book called Beautiful Constraints.  He introduced me to this idea of "can-if thinking".  What can-if thinking does is it gets you to come up with solutions to get the things that matter most done, I think; I'm applying his thinking to careers here and to overwhelm.

So if you're thinking, "I'm really struggling with this; I've got too much on; I'm not going to meet my deadline; this doesn't feel like it's possible", perhaps you feel like you're more in the "can't" and "impossible" rather than "can" and "possible" frame of thinking.  If you do can-if thinking and statements, you work out what needs to happen.

So with our book, at the start of this year, I actually can't remember what our original deadline was, but it was sometime in January --

Helen Tupper: Yeah, I think it was late January.

Sarah Ellis: -- late January, and I said to Helen, "We're not going to make it."  Then what we realised was, "Oh actually, well we can still deliver a full draft of the book if we get an extension of a couple of weeks on our deadline and if we make some choices and changes in terms of how we're both spending our time", and then started to get really specific about what that should look like.

Now whether we'll quite make it, I think --

Helen Tupper: We will make it!

Sarah Ellis: We will.  But we actually did this, and it worked so well for us.  Then sometimes you're in control of that completely.  So some of the choices and changes about time, like Helen and I have done for ourselves.  One of our "we can-ifs" also relied on us talking to our publisher and saying, "This is the reality; this is where we are.  We are doing everything that we can to go as quickly as we possibly can, but there are some factors that mean that we can't speed up so much that we're going to meet the original deadline.  Does this still work?"  And it does.

Sometimes I think if you've done that thinking and you're really thoughtful about it, people see that.  You're not just doing it because you're, "Oh, I can't be bothered", or it just feels a bit hard; you're doing it because you've really thought about it and you need that, and you're like, "Well, we can still do a brilliant job of this project that is the one thing that is on the top of my significance scale; the one thing that I need to do brilliantly and needs me to be at my best".  It could be about support from your partner, could be about stopping one project for three weeks.

Just try that can-if statement for yourself, "I can do this brilliantly if xxx"; what would that look like?  Have a go.  The more you start to practise it, the easier it gets.

Helen Tupper: I think as well, if a manger is contributing to your overwhelm because maybe they just keep adding to the workload, can-if thinking could really help; even more than can-if thinking, can-if response.  So it might be, "Yeah, I can pick that up if we move this other thing back", and just getting really confident and consistent with your can-if response to them.  It will force them to make choices and it prevents you having to continually add on top of everything you're already doing.

Tip number eight for you is to get somebody else's perspective on how they would manage the overwhelm that you're experiencing.  So, sometimes when we've got a lot on and you lose perspective, it's a bit like that you can't see the wood for the trees; all you can see is the work.  So you can't find your way through it; there's just lots of work.  For example, if I felt like I had loads on and I couldn’t see the wood for the trees, and I just took a moment and thought, "Well, what would Sarah do?"  She would get a flip board in her living room and she'd put grids and red, amber, green statuses and have one thing that she would do every day, and she would be relentlessly focused on that; that's what Sarah would do.

If I thought about what my husband would do if he had loads of work on, Gareth, my husband, he's very good with boundaries, so he wouldn't work and work and work, he would set himself a deadline, he would do it; he meditates when he's overwhelmed and that's the way he gets some perspective back as well. 

So I might do a blend of both of those, but the thing it would help me to do is get out of my head and my solutions, which might not be working at this point, and actually just think about, "Well, okay, if I try to do it like them I might just find a new way forward and a different way of approaching a problem and a bit of overwhelm that I might be struggling with".

Sarah Ellis:  So that was one way of getting perspective, and then number nine is a different way of getting perspective, and that is to read, watch or listen to something which is about a cause or a topic or a person that just feels bigger than you.  Let me explain that a little bit more.

So this week, for example, it genuinely really helped me, I watched a bit of a documentary about Barack Obama's final year of Administration and watching that really put things in perspective.  When him and his team were in Syria, and then they were talking about the decisions they make, and some of it is heart-breaking, but also watching this incredible woman do the work that she did at the UN, it takes you out of your world.

You know when you're overwhelmed, you've very in your own world; well I am certainly.  I get very focused; I get very single-minded.  My partner was watching this documentary; I was still working at my desk and then I did stop.  I'm sorry, everyone, but I was still working and watching the documentary at the same then.  But then I stopped and I was like, "Oh, now I'm going to have a cup of tea; I'm going to watch it for a bit", and I was so glad that I did because you know you just think, "Oh yeah, there probably are more important things than like this paragraph that I'm trying to write". 

It's not to try and diminish what you're doing and it's not to stop you caring, I just sometimes think it is a helpful reminder of what you're doing is important and also there's a big wide world out there; I find that a useful reminder.  Some people might go, "Oh, I don't need that", but it worked for me so I thought I'd include it.

Helen Tupper: I like it.  My last one's really like top ten tactical tips.

Sarah Ellis: Really, Helen?

Helen Tupper: Yeah.  It's really tactical, everybody.  I don't know if there's any psychology in this at all, but it works for me; my tip is to clean up.  Bear with me.

So, I think if you are feeling really overwhelmed, when you are in your messy brain and at a messy desk and looking at a messy notebook, I don't think it helps.  I think it's just all lots of work noise that can sometimes feel really difficult.  So I think you've got to find a way to clean up your brain and your desk and your to-do list.

Some ideas for you: if you want to clean up your brain, get out of the busyness, meditation would be the way of doing that.  It doesn't work for everybody; I actually find journaling probably works for me better than meditation.  It's just think about how you get your brain to stop whirring, the noise to stop happening whether it's meditation or journaling or something else, maybe exercising actually, but clean up your brain.

Clean up your desk.  For me, if I've got a messy desk -- my desk is actually quite clean at the moment; if it's really messy and I've wires and cables everywhere, it just adds to my stress and overwhelm.  So, for me, a clear desk works.

Clean up your to-do list.  Some people might not think this is a very good use of time, but sometimes, when I'm looking at my list and there's crosses and ticks in different coloured pens, taking five minutes to just neaten up my list and put some dates on it and put it in an order, it just gives me a sense of control and doability back.

Your notebook; I will start a blank page.  So if I'm like, "Okay, time to get serious, Helen", just starting a blank page.  I've even gone dramatic sometimes and started a whole new notebook when I'm like, "Right, this serious".

Clean up your day.  I'm not saying that you can always not be in all the meetings that are in your diary, but it might be possible to say, "Do you know what, for this one day I'm going to ask someone else to represent me in that meeting; I'm going to delay that other meeting".  So you can basically create yourself a bit of time in the day.  It might not be realistic to do it every week of every month, but for one day, you could probably move things around to give yourself a bit of space in your diary. 

Even your email; even cleaning up your email.  Drastic things that I have done before -- please, if you do this, anyone listening, and you get into trouble don't blame me, but before, when I was getting too many emails, I set up a rule that everything that I was cc'd onto went into a folder that I never looked at. 

Sarah Ellis: Not now I hope!

Helen Tupper: No, not now; I have different rules now, different flags now!  It massively cut down the amount of email that I had to sift through and, to be honest, if it was that important someone would chase me and they would send a --  I had basically a rule; my managers, I always read emails from my manager, everything else that was cc'd went into a folder that I didn't look at.  Then, if it was that important, people chased, and people hardly ever chased me, and it was fine.

Sometimes now, even when my inbox has got really overwhelming, I'll basically just think clean slate, I copy and paste it all into like "January 2021" and I just start again.

Sarah Ellis: I'm thinking of how much my desktop would stress you out right now.

Helen Tupper: I bet it would.

Sarah Ellis: But hopefully there's something there.  And, just as a final point to finish with, I think everybody can just support each other right now.  I've actually seen some really nice things on Instagram where I see people go, "If somebody's got a toddler, just know that the toddlers are winning right now!"  So, see how people are doing.  I think it was Man Versus Baby, and it really made me laugh.  Now, I'm lucky, my toddler's still at nursery so I'm winning.

I think just thinking if people are feeling overwhelmed, we can all just support each other, and we're all feeling overwhelmed some of the time at the moment.  I think Helen and I are having to support each other probably more than we are usually, because we're all struggling a little bit.  So use those support groups; use those WhatsApp groups; talk to someone about it.

Helen Tupper: Find a way to smile. 

Sarah Ellis: Yeah, that's a good idea as well.

Helen Tupper: I was thinking this week, some of those funny things that have been shared on the news, like that lawyer or the judge that had a cat filter; I think some of those, finding moments to make to smile as well are also healthy.  So maybe that's a secret extra tip; number 11 and 12, the support and smiles will also help with the overwhelm.

Sarah Ellis: Yeah, we didn't think about those beforehand, did we, so that's why they been added in at the end!

Helen Tupper:  They'll be tip number 11 and 12; quick, get those in!  Well, thank you so much for listening, everybody.  We will back with you next week with another topic.  If you found this helpful do let us know.  Like Sarah said earlier, you can get in touch with us @amazingif on Instagram.  We do love to hear from people.  It helps us to know that we're not just talking to ourselves on a podcast! 

Sarah Ellis:  To be fair, I feel like today we were just talking to ourselves!

Helen Tupper: Yeah, I think maybe we were just talking to ourselves.  But, yeah, let us know if it's helpful for you too.  That’s always nice to hear.  And as ever, if you do have any spare time that you could possibly give us for one or two minutes to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast, it's one way that we can find more people, we can help more people, and maybe we can help them with their overwhelm too.  So we'd hugely appreciate that if you do have the time to do it.

Sarah Ellis: Thank you so much, everybody, and we'll speak to you again soon.  Bye for now.

Helen Tupper: Bye.